Monday, June 11, 2007

two for the long road

more and more, god shows me that he has a hand in absolutely everything we do. as my husband and i were driving late friday night to attend a couples' weekend retreat in tagaytay, i related to him that i will miss a baby shower party the following day because of this weekend retreat, which was meant to make our marriage last longer. "oh, is that what it will be all about?" he asked. and i realized just then that he was clueless as to what i told him to free this weekend for. and yet he still agreed to go. just how amazing is that? i also realized that he was already a follower of one of the most important teachings about husbands and wives before we even got to hear it emphasized in the retreat... "wives must be submissive to husbands..." (1 Peter 3:1). except that it was the other way around! heh-heh!

two for the long road, the title of the retreat reads. it is indeed the two of us for the long road. no ifs, no buts. we remembered how it was when we met for the very first time twenty-five years ago in the girls athletic league competition held in la salle greenhills. i was a cheerleader and he was girl-watching like the rest of the guys. he noticed my freckles and i thought he was kinda cute. we remembered our first date where i wore my "annie" shirt, and he wore his "mickey mouse" shirt. there were lots of things that we said and did which endeared us to each other through our pre-med, then med school years. and just about everything we said and did was exciting including all the ups and downs in our relationship leading to the day we made a commitment to god to be together till death do us part. as one of our readings goes, "submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for christ. wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the lord. for a husband has authority over his wife just as christ has authority over his church; and christ is himself the savior of the church, his body. and so wives must submit themselves completely to their husbands just as the church submits itself to christ. husbands, love your wives just as christ loved the church and gave his life for it.' (Eph 5:21-25). that was thirteen years ago.

two for the long road. thirteen years is long but not that long. in fact, it feels very short, which we think is good more than bad. time flies when you are having fun. time also flies when you are very busy. i would like to think that it is the fun more that the busy-ness which makes our thirteen years feel very short. but yes, it is certainly both. we are busy being parents to our two energetic and adorable kids. we are busy with our careers as doctors. we are busy trying to fulfill a whole lot of other roles we play, as caring children to our aging parents, as dedicated community workers, as true friends to our friends. it seems everything is going great and we praise and thank god for the roles which he called on us to play, and for the resources we need to take on the responsibilities which come with them.

two for the long road. i realized painfully that thirteen years is a long time to be busy with other things except to be busy prioritizing being the kind of wife god commanded me to be for my husband. i learned that to be busy with other things, and veer away from being this kind of wife, is to be under satan's yoke. we are so blessed not to have any earth-shaking problems in our marriage, really nothing big enough to tear us apart. but the small things such as carelessness in action and words, busy-ness... they eat up like termites into the relationship, seemingly stable on the outside, but gnawing to a hollow brittleness inside. i cried buckets on the last night of our retreat as this realization dawned on me, re-discovering the little hurts, his and mine, which have piled up and which we so conveniently swept under the rug... just because they seemed too small. and yes, just because we were busy.

two for the long road. the timing was perfect. the messages clear and piercing. the tears were good. it unloaded our heavy hearts we had not realized we carried. it felt great to start exterminating the termites. this weekend we were re-charged, re-juvinated, re-energized. it feels as if we were coming home from a much-needed vacation. except even better. because it was a couple's vacation with god, as he gently reminded us that we three were meant for each other, and firmly ushered us two for the long road ahead.


Blogger mama_aly said...

if there's any couple who will make it through the long road, it's the two of you... so open to everything God sets before you... adventure partners who dont shrink at anything be it conquering a mountain or a retreat with the God of the mountain. it's the shared experiences that will get you to the end of the road together.

Monday, 11 June, 2007  
Blogger eclegs said...

thanks so much for the encouragement melissa!!! I am so impressed!!!you have done an excellent summary of your learnings and experiences from the 2 night retreat. I love that photo of you:-)it shows the youthful heart in you and that's a good asset to reach out to your young kids.

Tuesday, 12 June, 2007  

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