who's afraid of the big C?

cancer. and here's another one, chemotherapy. the mere mention will send shivers down one's spine.

i could still remember all too clearly, as if it was just yesterday. over breakfast 21 years ago, i asked my mom what the result of her biopsy was. she didn't have any voice then because of the surgery and so she scribbled on her magic slate, "i need radiotherapy". i couldn't believe my eyes. i was in pre-med then and of course i knew it meant she had the big c. i rushed to the bathroom where i cried uncontrollably. my dad had to get me out, trying to explain the situation while fighting to hold back his own tears. it's been ages since. all praise and thanks be to our god, for the many extra wonderful years, mom's still with us.

last week, it was my tita esty. it was a shock to find out that the uterine mass removed with her uterus was indeed cancerous. and yes, she has to have chemotherapy. we were afraid for her not just because of the medical concerns. she, who just a few years back, had gotten over her major depression of 20 plus years, might have another breakdown. the family thought it was best for her not to know. the doctor discussed with her the treatment needed to "sterilize the area operated on" and "to prevent any recurrence". as the family had requested, there was purposefully no mention of the big c, thinking and hoping that this half-information will protect her. all tita esty asked was "makakalbo ba ako?" the doctor said most people do but reassured her that the new drugs are good and so she should not worry about any other side effects. to that she replied, "oh, i'll be ok, prayerful naman ako." with this, i was certain she had understood completely. and i realized we had underestimated her in more ways than one.

who's afraid of the big c? of course everyone is. but we must not forget, we can conquer this fear as we rest our cares and count on the biggest c of all. christ.