Tuesday, June 24, 2008

ninong b

the past four days and nights have been physically exhausting but indescribably emotionally overwhelming and spiritually uplifting.

my dear ninong benny was laid to rest last friday, with all his loved ones around him. and then for the next few days and nights thereafter, more of his extended family and friends from near and far, came to be with him... to pay respect, to thank him, to praise him, to honor him... what better way to "pass on" to the next life. i hate the term "pass away" because it connotes one is going away, never again to be seen, felt or remembered. for ninong most especially, this is not the way it will be. his person and how he lived his life is the kind that will never ever be forgotten.

he is a lot of different things to so many people. but a common thread that runs through these different things is his sincere concern and love to share every little bit of what he has... his material wealth, his thoughts and talents, his heart and soul. he does this with so much passion, so much so that i can experience whatever he shares, with all of my five senses - to see, hear, smell, feel, and yes, even taste! just how much passion he has... all the time, walang humpay, walang pagod. he doesn't give until it hurts. he just gives and gives and never seem to hurt.

i may be just one of his countless inaanaks, but i consider him my one and only true ninong. he's the only ninong who saw me grow up, who was there in most significant milestones of my life -- from my birth, to my giving birth -- i would have no one else do my epidurals but him, and i am tickled pink because i know he truly feels no one else should, except him. he is my only ninong who i can talk to about anything at all... from exotic cuisine (of fish eyeballs!), to art appreciation, to medicine (all of its branches!), to career plans and the fulfillment of giving back ("mabuti at umuwi kayo ni gary"), to marriage, to parenting kids and parenting parents, to the many challenges of aging (including sex during that time!), to the anxiety over sickness and death, to the importance of prayer and spiritual life. come to think of it -- you name them, we most probably have talked about them. i have gotten advice, sometimes amusing but always sound, in many occasions... and so have i received his sincere approval and warm affirmation for other aspects in my life which he feels i have done well in. he is my only ninong who was openly affectionate and made sure i knew he cared for me, taking to heart the role of being second father with the way he related to me.

i feel extra-special, being on the ringside, my whole life, witnessing this passion of his for life -- at times perplexed where it was coming from, sometimes overwhelmed by it, oftentimes inspired by it, all the time awed by it, and forever will be thankful for it.

ninong benny, i am deeply grateful and truly honored to have you in my life. it will certainly not be the same without your physical presence, but whenever i think about you, i will certainly feel your passion for life, which will remind me of how i should live my own and continue to strive to achieve what "i was created for".


Blogger mama_aly said...

to daddy, the word inaanak and anak means the same thing --- a person to care for, love, and be proud of. you just don't know how he would talk about you to others ever so fondly when the topic of you would come up --- just like a real daughter. your dad and mom like a true brother and sister, and he loved gary and arianna and roque (which he loved to pronounce as "roc") as family. that's how intertwined we are to each other.

we will all miss him terribly, most especially during our november get togethers.

Friday, 27 June, 2008  

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