Friday, September 16, 2005

extreme torture

the threat of a possible physical disability to befall on your baby is torture.
yesterday, my good friend spent hours crying after finding out that the able neurosurgeon could not remove the mass that infiltrated one of the nerves near the spinal cord of her six month old baby. the surgery was "open and close" as trying to tease out the mass from the nerve would certainly damage the nerve. it was a decision that the neurosurgeon made after exhausting all possible surgical techniques in his head. it was a decision that was too painful to bear for my friend. for it meant that there is a possibility that her baby will not be able to walk normally later on. but her baby is perfect right now. there is a threat, a possibility, a maybe... that this disability will happen as the baby grows. but there is also a chance, a possibility, a maybe... that it will not. understandably for now, it is difficult for my friend to push her worries aside. expectant of the worst that may come, she grieves as if it had already come. and for years as she watches her baby grow, the anxiety will be there. it is torture, yes.

finding out that your long awaited baby has a physical disability is torture.
last week, my husband evaluated a baby born prematurely. the pediatrician thought that there might be an aggressive tumor growing in the baby's eyes. as it turned out, the good news was that the baby did not have a tumor. but the bad news is that the baby had an underdeveloped retina because of prematurity. and there was nothing modern medicine could offer. nothing could be done to reverse it. it was not easy breaking the news to the parents. their precious baby is blind now and will be blind forever. there was no gentle way of putting that message across. there is no threat, no possibility, no chance, no maybe... that the disability may happen later. for it was already there. and for years, they will watch the baby grow as she tries to cope with the disability. it is torture, yes.

which is extreme torture?


Blogger mama_aly said...

Beautiful, compassionate! Was inspired by your piece to write this:

Saturday, 17 September, 2005  

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