doctor patient

dad is a good doctor patient. not a lot of doctors make good patients.

it has been like a roller coaster ride for the past five days since dad was admitted in the hospital for labile blood pressure and epigastric pain. the threat of having a cardiac problem, though inconcievable for someone as health conscious as he was, was now real. results of various tests were somehow perplexing. we would be relieved with some normal results. and then be anxious the next as we find out succeeding tests showed possible abnormalities, the extent of which is uncertain. unfortunately, that is how medicine is.

i observe dad in the hospital as a doctor patient for the very first time. he listens to his doctor decades younger than him, intently. he obeys what he says, asking questions to learn and never to challenge or test. he submits to what needs to be done. he treats the nurses well, joking with them to ease their tension about having to serve a doctor patient. he makes it easy for mom and me, not a complaint unless we ask him if he feels something. never demanding, always grateful. managing a smile each time, though incompletely hiding the anxiety which peeps through his eyes. it's a way of coping with the fear of not knowing and not being in control of what is to come. he tries not to show it with a burst of throaty laughter as if to quiet our worries, as well as his.

i prayed and asked for people to pray with us throughout this time. i asked for guidance and protection. for complete trust and calmness. for the healer of all healers to take control. i gave thanks for this time. for the doctors and nurses. for people who have shown concern and prayed. for the outcome that we had hoped for. for the opportunity to show i care. and for the chance to witness my mom's love and affection for my dad, who was a good doctor patient all throughout.