unplanned conversation

yesterday, a middle aged woman was referred to me for rehab after hand surgery. she has had major depression for the past two months. two weeks ago, she slashed both her wrists.

i spent time with her more than i planned to. it was getting late and i was just supposed to take a look at her injuries and be off as soon as i decide on what therapy needs to be done. but she asked me lots of questions unrelated to what i was there to help her with. she was frustrated with her meds which knock her off. she says all her shrink is concerned about is her sleep, sleep, sleep. to my surprise, i carried on the conversation with her and felt like i was her shrink.

as if assessing why i was called to see her
and if i could actually be of any help, she asked me,
may nagamot ka na bang ibang tao na kagaya ko?

oo, madami-dami na din.

e bakit sila nag-slash ng kamay?

iba-ibang rason. may katulad ng sa iyo.

i asked her why she slashed her wrists.

wala na kasi akong pag-asa sa buhay.

i was amazed to hear myself telling her,

ang ganda-ganda ng mundo natin at

masarap mabuhay sa mundo na

ginawa ni god para sa atin.

hindi na ako naniniwala e. dahil mukhang
nakalimot na siya.

hindi siya nakakalimot.

tayo lang ang laging nakakalimot.

siguro hindi ka na nagdadasal, ano?

hindi na nga.

kaya naman pala. o sino sa palagay mo ang nakalimot?

she did not answer.
and for a split-second i thought i offended her.

promise mo sa akin, magdadasal ka tonight?

bibisita ka ba ulit dito bukas?

siyempre, kailangan ko tingnan ulit ang mga kamay mo.

sana ikaw nalang ang psychiatrist ko.