milenyo

i did not feel typhoon milenyo because i was in the hospital working then. well, that's because the hospital does not close shop even when it's signal #3 or threatening to be signal #4 as in the case of this storm that just passed.

when i got home from work that afternoon, roque, as always, excitedly greets me at the door.
roque: mom, you're home!
me: yes, hi there, hon!
roque: you know, there's no tricity!
me: what?
roque: there's no tricity! there's no tricity, mom!
me: you mean e-lec-tricity.
roque: yes, e-lec-tricity. why there's no tricity, mom?
me: well, because of the storm.
roque: storm?
me: yes, the storm destroyed the lines that carry the electricity to the different houses.
roque: but why did god bring the storm?
me: uh.... um.... uh.... um.... because god wanted to water all the plants fast?!
roque: (pauses to think) oh, i get it!

gosh, what a silly answer i had. after i told my husband about the conversation we had, he told me quite exasperatedly, "but hon, didn't you see, the storm tore the trees out!"... well, i wasn't ready for the question... sorry...

it took nine months

nine months ago, i blogged about a dear friend who wondered why she got pregnant at a time when she and her husband have given up all hope to have another baby after 8 years of trying. why at a time when she was very busy with her career and preparing for a big move to another country. back then, she asked why, why now? no one really knew the answers then. except of course our god, the giver of life, who knew exactly why and why then.

today, nine months since, i received a wonderful text message from my friend which read "lucas javier was born today... by natural delivery." incredulous! blessed with an adorable 9-year old daughter, i'm sure they secretly wished for a baby boy. she also continuously prayed oh so hard to give birth naturally even if her doctor already scheduled her for a caesarian section. it's just incredulous! our giver of life gives beyond our wildest imagination.

and now we know why then. because now nine months later, they are well-settled after the big move. because now, her career is stable and going well. because now, her 9-year old autistic daughter is gaining independence they thought would never be possible. because now, they can care for their newborn son without these stresses which god has taken care of in their behalf. god's timing is truly precise. his ways are perfect.

all praise and honor be to the giver of life who breathes life to the lives he has given. how wonderful it is to witness the unfailing faith of people who continuously pray. i am a work in progress learning to pray the way i should. in awe and with gratitude, i experience how prayer works in the lives of other people as it does in mine.

worth in our unworthiness

what makes us worthy,
of being known from conception
of being watched over throughout our lives
of being found without even searching
of being led by the hand pruned, then strengthened
of being prepared in spirit then called by name?

what makes us worthy,
of brothers and sisters who care
enough to rejoice with us in our own triumphs
enough to cry with us when we feel blue
enough to uplift us when we feel insecure
enough to pray with us to calm our fears?

what makes us worthy,
of the many blessings which come our way
much more than we can ever imagine
of a love so great and so overwhelming
so unselfish and liberating, ever so present
even if at times we forget or even take for granted?

what makes us worthy,
of still being called
despite all our excess baggage
despite our imperfections and shortcomings
despite our many fears and doubts
despite our unfaithfulness with our faith?

if only we could stop asking, what makes us worthy
if only we could let go and stop relying on ourselves
if with humility, trust in him to lead us further on
if with gratitude, hear and respond to his call
then maybe we will also see the worth which he sees
in our feeling of unworthiness.