Wednesday, June 29, 2005

plus one

plus one year today
do i see more forehead lines?
do new strands of gray hair show?
do i lean back when i read fineprint?
did my metabolic rate get slow?

plus one
year today
never thought i'd be concerned
never thought i'd feel shot
never thought i'd be bothered
well i'm so glad i'm not.

plus one
year today
i have more laughlines than forehead lines
all say my pixie cut fits me well
i finally get to choose cool frames for specs
and got time for gym to tone abs, buns and pecs.

plus one
year today
i see and feel lots of changes happening
though i am still the same person within
with one more year worth of blessings
which bring me one year closer to my dreams.

Thursday, June 23, 2005

spots and dots

the other day, i was happily welcomed home by a usual kiss from my son roque, followed by his now famous line "spots and dots" each time he kisses me... that's his way of acknowledging my freckle-face. where he got that line from, i don't really know. i must admit i didn't like it at first but now i find it kinda cute and all too endearing. it's sort of his pet name for me.
well aside from that welcome kiss, he quickly showed me an abrasion on his left elbow and said, "george pushed me and i fell on the ground like this" simultaneously re-enacting the scene that happened in school that morning. loly darle then relates to me that he's been re-enacting that scene the whole day, probably 20 plus times already, and maybe even adding more to the original injury... oh well. i asked him if he cried when he fell and he said, "yes" with a pout on his face. i asked him if he pushed george back and i was relieved he said, "no." i told him that was very good because i didn't think george pushed or hurt him on purpose. i kissed his elbow just like i kiss any part that hurt him. and he said "spots and dots."
yesterday, i was off from work in the morning and i was able to fetch roque from his school. i waited just outside his open classroom but stayed out of sight till dismissal time. just a couple of minutes had passed when i heard a very famous cry. "waaah! waaaah! teacher, he pushed my tummy with the book, waah, waaaaah!" that was roque of course. i peeped and saw him sitting on the floor, his attacker (carl), returning the weapon (book) into the cubbyhole. and once again, "waaaaah, i want my mommy!" i was a bit upset that he cried because of what seemed to be an unintentional attack, but at the same time, felt happy that he called for me... :) after a few minutes, class was dismissed and he was still being pacified by teacher charlane. i go and show myself and watch his crying face turn into a surprised face. he probably figured " wow, ask, and you shall receive." then he related to me what happened, of course, blowing everything out of proportion. he showed me his tummy so i could assess the extent of his injury. i tell him it looks fine and that i'm sure carl didn't mean to hurt him. i bent to kiss his tummy and he says with a giggle, tickled with my kiss, "spots and dots."

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

moving on

my baby brother has flown the coop. he is 35 and newly married.
but he's still my baby brother.
he and his wife were bound for abroad to pursue their dreams.
the other day, i helped them pack their stuff.
i was a bundle of feelings.
sad, happy, nervous, excited.
just like how i felt when i was in the same situation.
i relived how my hubby and i prepared to leave for philly 9 years ago.
it was truly a great enriching experience.
i am glad for this opportunity for my brother and his wife.
to be able to move on, grow, mature, learn and live life with each other.
i look back at my own experience and smile.
the best is yet to come.

Sunday, June 12, 2005


at 5 am, i get a nudge
roque's nose near my own
mom, wake up
let's make pang-cakes please
again? we just had that yesterday
yup, again
ok, hon
at 1pm, let's make cookies
yup, oatmeal cookies
arianna & roque chorus
ok, guys
let's get the stuff
at 6pm, another request
arianna has a bright idea
can you help me make sushi?
yup, sushi with crabstick
hmm... ok, hon
just can't get enough of the
love them.

Saturday, June 11, 2005

summer collection

early morning hitting the beach
cool and salty breeze kissing our cheeks
walking barefoot, waves splashing on toes.
collecting rocks
and driftwood
and sand.
floating in the middle of the sea
watching dolphins, a hundred or so.
collecting their images
gracefully gliding
spinning way above water
swooshing deep so swift.
spotting the sandbar
so white and what a dream
surrounding waters
crystal jade and serene.
collecting shells
and sand dollars
and stones.
precious moments
unforgettable heaven
unparalleled bliss.
collecting happy memories
with my hubby and
and my kids.

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

chicks boy roque

roque is my 3 year old son.
yesterday, i took him to kinder care, his pre-school, for his first day in school. he was in the toddler class last year. this year, they moved him up to junior nursery. he was excited to be with his toddler classmates again. but the school directress decided to put him in another class with the older kids.
while waiting for him to settle in with his new classmates, a couple of mothers came in with their kids, who were toddler classmates of roque, rachelle & maia.
rachelle's mom: hey, it's roque! will he be rachelle's classmate again?
teacher charlane: no, he'll be with teacher irene this year.
rachelle's mom: ah, shucks! rachelle will miss him. she calls him "my roque."
maia's mom: how about maia? will she be classmates with roque?
teacher charlane: no, maia and rachelle will be classmates.
maia's mom: hay sayang, maia likes roque a lot. she always wants to play with him.
roque's real cute... of course, that's what i think... of course, i may be biased.
he's real super friendly. so i can see why the girls like him.
he also says "hi" to the moms when they come to fetch his classmates. so i can see why the moms know him and like him, too.
hmmm... he's starting young. i think he's a natural.
daddy gary certainly didn't have a hand in this.

Friday, June 03, 2005

left handshake

today, i visited my spinal cord injured patient. he's 23, a chef and an athlete. he is completely paralyzed from a little above his waist down. one can't imagine just exactly how devastating it is for him.
today, he was able to pull himself up to sit on his own and go on a wheelchair.
today, i had to tell him he had to start learning how to catheterize himself in order to drain his bladder intermittently during the day. he squirms at the thought. not because it will be painful. because he can't feel anything down there anyway. but because it is unnatural. as would be how he will have to perform most other things and daily activities from now on...
he squirms. i encourage him anyway. told him it is what is best. told him it is so he will have less risk of infection. told him it is so he will be independent.
he still squirms. told him i was fighting for him as the other doctors think he wouldn't be able to do it. told him i was sure he would be able to. told him i know he was smart, strong, motivated, determined. told him i know that we could prove the others wrong.
he makes a face. he tells me he will take a few days to think about it. and i agreed. coming to terms with and acceptance of a disability could take a very very long time. i thought thinking about it was at least a positive sign. and i asked him "promise?"
he nods "yes" with a crooked smile. i told him to seal that promise with a handshake. i extend my left hand to shake his left because his right hand had the intravenous line. and he says that handshake doesn't mean anything because we're not shaking right hands.
i said i prefer a left handshake because it's closer to his heart. he smiles.
today, as i left him i was sure that he will prove the other doctors wrong by tomorrow.

Wheeeee!! (a song by Arianna)

Let's sing!!!!!

Once there was a little ant who wanted to move a rubber tree plant...
But everyone knows that ants can't move a rubber tree plant...
But he's got HIGH HOPES, he's got HIGH HOPES!

He's got apple pie in the sky hopes!!!
And when you think you're feeling low, instead of letting go,

Just remember that ant!
Whoops there goes another rubber tree,

Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant.

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

mount kinabalu high

my hubby gary and i make sure we go on an annual vacation-cum-honeymoon to rejuvinate, re-charge, and re-energize ourselves and our marriage...

this year, we decided to go on a trek up mount kinabalu with seven other adventurers, each with a different personality. it was not exactly the vacation we were used to. we didn't quite expect to laze around. on the contrary, we had to train for the trip physically, to beef up our strength, stamina and endurance. it was of course far from a honeymoon, having seven other people around...

nonetheless, the trek up mount kinabalu was an exhilirating experience, and quite an adventure. climbing up the highest peak of the highest mountain in all of southeast asia was no easy feat. it was a pretty tough climb especially for first time climbers like me and my hubby. yup, call us crazy. we had to climb 6km up on the first leg, then 3km more on the second leg the following day. the second leg started at 2:30 in the morning. it was dark. it was cold. it was pretty exciting and quite scary. with our group all geared up and ready to go, we held hands in prayer before the climb...
dear god, thank you for this day. thank you for all your blessings.
guide us as we go through this climb. keep us safe. protect us and
let nothing harm us along the way. keep us in the palm of your
hand. amen.

our group was joined by other climbers from different countries, of various shapes and sizes, young and old. all with one goal which is to reach the highest peak and experience the wonderful sunrise. however, as dawn broke, the sky was overcast and there was no sunrise in sight. i was not to be discouraged. sunrise or no sunrise, it was quite a site to behold... the different peaks looming like giants, slates smooth, slopes steep... just magnificent. truly overwhelming. then a huge and glorious rainbow came to view over st. john's peak... then another rainbow on top of it... a double rainbow... how amazing is that?... i teared...
dear god, thank you so much for your creation. thank you for
allowing me to witness all of these in my lifetime. thank you for
all of these.

now we are back home. our bodies ache and are tired from our adventure of adventures. but my spirit is so full.
thank you, dear creator.